How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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