where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
