That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
