I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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