yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
