I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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