I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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