I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
send nudes
from the living room?
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