your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
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I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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