the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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