I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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