9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
