do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
