Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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