my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
