glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're like the curious george of whores
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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