hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
