Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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