:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
