You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Boobs speak an international language.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
