I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
