I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
