He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
