I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
