i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
