So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.