I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.