Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's just like the Real World with babies
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.