I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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