Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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