i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
