ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
