"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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