Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
