she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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