My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
