you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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