The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
