just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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