went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
