Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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