I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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