Pappa wants mamma naked
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
