omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize