go do what you do best...puke behind churches
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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