I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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