I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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