The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
