a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need water and some morals
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
