I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
