I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize