dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
