I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
