i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
