I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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