you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
