dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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